lovelessxchild

I'm so excited! Tomorrow I am going to Pecz in Hungary with choir and day after that we'll perform newly written piece from famous Croatian composer Davor Bobic. I adore it! It's called Izaia and is fabulous! I really hope everything will be ok cause I admire and apreciate him (composer) very much and wish him even brighter career :)  Tomorrow we'll have first rehearsal with an orchestra (which counts more than 90 members!!). It is really a big project, alltogeher there will be around 200 performers (pretty impressive if you ask me)!!! We'll be singing parts of Bible on it's original languages which made this whole project even more interesting. On Sunday we'll perform same piece in Osijek (Croatia) and on Monday in Varazdin (Croatia), my and composers hometown :D  Can't wait for it....  ^ _ ^

First of all I wish you all happy Easter :D 

I figured I haven't written here for a long time (not that anyone is interested in my writings but that's fine, I feel better after writing...). My life is still same old, I am still single, geekish, 20 years old virgin I was a few months ago (and i like it!)  :)  Only thing that changed is my haircut (for better, much better). New exams are slowly but surely approaching, and I am having some concerts with choir next week, can't wait :D

Actually something great happened, I already wrote about it but everything was still unclear at the time. Anyway, my parents bought me Clavinova for my 20th birthday!!!! I still can't believe it! I am so happy to own it, it's beautiful <3  To be honest, when they told me what they decided to get me as a birthday present my feelings were all mixed up, I felt happy, sad, excited and dissapointed at the same time. You probably wonder why in the name of God would I feel like that when I was getting such a great birthday present? Well the thing is, I wanted to buy it MYSELF,  and not owe anything to anyone. It was suposed to be gift from me to myself, and they ruined it... It's not that I am ungratefull, I really apreciate what they did, I mean they are amazing! How many people can say they got something like that for b-day present? But then again I want to be independent and feel like adult I am suposed to be according to my age... Idk, I still feel a bit upset about it...

I am not in the mood for writing anymore, that'll be it for today (maybe XD)... I wish you all happy Easter again, and I sincerely hope you're spending it with your family (unlike me whose parents are working and sister casted me off and went out with her friend... Aren't holidays just lovely?).

I just realized that yesterday was Mozart`s birthday :D  Hahaha, i can`t believe i forgot it! And i spend most of my day listening to his music (actually I listened Fujimi Orchestra drama CD and soundtrack ).  Anyway, happy birthday Mozart, i hope you`re having great time wherever you are right now and that you are still composing :)  (although i must admit that you aren˛t one of my absolute favorites, shame on me XD).  Actually we were supposed to share birthday, but i was to stubborn and didn`t want to get out XD  So i have to wait 2 days more... I hope i`ll get better till Thursday, cause yesterday i was so sick i thought i would die. But i`m okay now, i guess i was just exhausted cause of too much stress i`ve been under lately. Just  4 more exams to go, and then i`ll have craziest b-day party ever (or not XD, we`ll see).

There is an interesting saying: When God closes the door, he opens the window. And it`s true! I`m buying an electric piano and i found one (i actually liked - i usually hate them, their sound is so empty and false, i can`t stand it) but it`s to expensive, and i was really sad. And yesterday my friend called me and said she found a job for me! I really hope i`ll get it, although i am not sure if it`s healthy for me (cause college really sucked out every little bit of energy i had) but if i manage to fit it into my pretty busy schedule, i`ll probably be able to buy it (electric piano). So everyone wish me luck!   :D

Homework



I am not a very creative writer (at least in my opinion). Only things I write about are my personal life (which I believe you aren`t interested in XD) and my thoughts (which you probably aren`t interested in either, but don`t have much choice, hahaha). So, I should write about something... Present? Too boring and chaotic. Past? I don`t wanna get to nostalgic, it will lead to sad thoughts and I don`t wanna get to depressed, thank you very much (and here it comes – Killing me softly on radio, isn`t coincidence a wonderful thing?). So what is left? Future? Nah, I don`t know what I want anymore so I can`t see my future anymore, it kinda fells like I was supposed to die but am still here waiting for Reaper to figure out he forgot about me. Can you imagine Reapers face? Hahaha, I guess he`d be like “Damn! How could I forgot her? And I had such a spectacular opportunities to kill her :( Now I`ll have to come up with something new... Nah, I am to lazy, I`ll just make her die in car accident, it`s standard today...”. I guess I watched to many anime...


Ok, today is a new day (literally, I gave up last time cause I ran out of inspiration). I guess I should at least mention music since I dedicated my life to it, ne? So... Why music? To be honest, I don`t know. Maybe it was just easy thing to chose since I was surrounded with music since birth. My dad always played guitar and mom and me sang with him. I always thought that music is my purpose, that my destiny (that`s such a strong word, I don`t really believe in destiny, every one of us is blacksmith of it`s own luck) is to be a piano teacher, to inspire love for music in many young hearts and show them that music is our sanctuary, friend that always understands you and is there for you. Well I guess I blew my chance for that, but what is done can`t be undone (unfortunately). If there is a God I really hope he has some plan for me, a plan that`ll make me useful cause I wanna have a purpose. I wish I could talk with him, at least once, cause I`d really like to know what the hell does he want from me??? The time when I could call myself a pianist was only time when I felt like a (model) person. I wasn`t a nerd, geek or just another asocial, insecure girl, I was someone, someone who had a promising future ahead of herself. And now? Here I am, stuck in the middle of nowhere, waiting for my prince to come and save me... NOT! I`ll get myself outta here, I just need some time and I`ll sort everything out. Till then i just have to keep on going, moving forward and being who i am (no matter how much it freaks people out :D).





PS: I know I wrote it in slang but you never said I can`t so I just did it...

PPS: I have to apologize cause my homework was mainly throwing my random thoughts on paper.

As I said I am not a very talented writer and I didn`t know what to write about so it ended up

this way.

PPPS: Is it just me or do I use “I” to much??? XD

Hello there (the angel from my nightmare...) :)

    What to say? Well in my opinion i am pretty normal person although many people say i am crazy :)  The truth is i always get myself in embarrassing or really really weird situations and that is what i`ll usually write about (or things i am obsessed with XD ). What to say, i am 19 years old student of music - will be music teacher (wanna be piano teacher), am still single (never really had a boyfriend) - my parents are freaked out cause of it and my dad thinks i am lesbian XD (unfortunately i am not :( ).  I am very stubborn person and don`t like people telling me what to do, and usually fall for wrong guys (lately gay - jup, i guess i really am weird). I am really happy and excited right now, tomorrow people from college are throwing party at college and i can`t wait :) I am anime and manga fan, i am recently into Death Note, Loveless and D.N.Angel, but like many others too. And i love to read fanfics - lately i am into Jiraioro so if you know for some good fanfics about them please tell me, kay?

   That`s it from me for now, see ya :D